In years gone by, death was a feature of everyday life. There was a much higher mortality rate and people tended to die at home surrounded by their loved ones. If you lived in the Victorian era, it is likely that you would have witnessed several deaths by the time you reached 30.
But the establishment of the National Health Service and great advances in medicine, especially in the last 50 years, have contributed to much longer life expectancies. Many more people die in hospitals and nursing homes than at home.
As a result, death has been pushed into the margins of our consciousness, so most people don’t think about it until they have to. This can make a diagnosis of serious illness especially shocking and frightening, both for the person diagnosed and their family.
It is to address these fears and to remind people about the concept of a “good death” that the Bishops’ Conference of England and Wales has launched a website, the Art of Dying Well (artofdyingwell.org).
Using animations, film and audio interviews and a range of articles, the site shares the Church’s treasury of teaching about living and dying well. It is inspired by a medieval genre of religious literature known ars moriendi (art of dying) which provided spiritual and practical guidance to help people to prepare for a good death.
The site includes prayers and reflections, along with the testimony of those nearing death and the insights of others who have survived serious illness. It is a valuable resource for those who are dying and their loved ones as well as for doctors and nurses.
Dr Kathryn Mannix, a specialist in palliative medicine, has a consoling message for the great majority of people who will die of natural causes. She describes it as a gentle, peaceful process that is nothing like the way it is often portrayed on television and in films. Dr Mannix is one of the dedicated professionals who have contributed articles and videos to the site, some of them on practical subjects such as advance care planning and funerals.
A recent survey found, unsurprisingly, that well over half of dying patients put the search for spiritual meaning at the forefront of their concerns, regardless of whether they were traditionally religious. This website seeks to provide these people and others with a starting point for reflection.
I have spent many years ministering to the dying as a chaplain in two well-known London hospitals, the Royal Marsden and the Royal Brompton. To my surprise, I discovered what a privilege it was to accompany people who were dying, sometimes right from the time they had been given the “bad” news and other times only in the last few moments of their life on earth.
I came to realise that to “die well” means to die in the company of people who surround their loved one with prayer and support. In such an atmosphere, the priest can best come with Christ himself present in the Sacraments.
And I’m sure that any priest reading this will want to join in urging people to realise that it is never too late. The parable of the Prodigal Son is never more relevant than in the moment when a soul turns towards the Father just as the Father runs down the road to greet this His son whom He has lost, and so enable him to be dressed in robes which befit a true son and heir.
Here is another insight which ministering to the dying provided me with: every time we help someone to die well, we are helping them on their Calvary, just as Veronica and Simon of Cyrene helped Jesus. As believing Catholics, we ought all to equate the experience of dying as our climbing Calvary. Every time we help someone climb their Calvary, not only do we accompany that person, but we also tentatively take steps to climb our own Calvary in our empathy for them.
If the Art of Dying Well website helps more of us engage with dying in spiritually fruitful ways such as these, then it will have done what it set out to do.
The bishops’ initiative also reminds us of the importance of praying for the dead. The Art of Dying Well Instagram account (instagram.com/artofdyingwell) will host a “Remember Them” virtual memorial wall inviting people to post pictures and memories of a loved one who has died or is dying. Five convents and monasteries have undertaken to pray for these individuals.
So visit the website and the social media associated with it. This is simply the beginning of what we hope will grow into a powerful means to bring consolation, grace and spiritual growth to many people near and far from the Church.
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